“Hola, Señor.”
“Hello, cat.”
“It is a lovely and glorious day today, is it not? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping…”
“You’re not supposed to be on the table. What do you want?”
“Well, speaking of birds – since you won’t let me outside to eat them, would you instead treat me to a bite of your pizza?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I see. Well, these are tumultuous times that we live in.
“John! John, I’ve just made an amazing discovery!”
John paused the soccer game, set down his hamburger, and groaned. Whatever was about to come out of his roommate’s mouth was bound to give him a headache. “Really? What now, Lars?”
“Cows!” he was waving a sheaf of notes over his head with such vigor that he was nearly out of breath.
“Ok?”
“Hyper-intelligent cows!”
“Huh?”
“Hyper-intelligent cows rule the world.” He thrust the sheaf of papers toward John’s face and waved them excitedly.
CHARACTERS
ARTHUR: A middle-aged bureaucrat. He wears unstylish glasses and a suit one size too big.
BERTRAND: A talking duck.
SETTING
An unremarkable conference table in an unremarkable conference room in the depths of the FDA. ARTHUR and BERTRAND are sitting on either side of the table, surrounded by piles of paper and groups of assistants.
SCENE
ARTHUR: I have to say, you seem remarkably calm about this agreement.
BERTRAND: Well, we are prey animals as much as predators.
