“John! John, I’ve just made an amazing discovery!”
John paused the soccer game, set down his hamburger, and groaned. Whatever was about to come out of his roommate’s mouth was bound to give him a headache. “Really? What now, Lars?”
“Cows!” he was waving a sheaf of notes over his head with such vigor that he was nearly out of breath.
“Ok?”
“Hyper-intelligent cows!”
“Huh?”
“Hyper-intelligent cows rule the world.” He thrust the sheaf of papers toward John’s face and waved them excitedly.
Captain Chrysanthemum was never a particularly important superhero. He was not part of the team that stopped Dr. Colossal from destroying the city, nor was he among the coalition members that sent the Beryllians running back to their home world with their tails between their tentacles. No, for the past thirty years he had spent most of his days in the park, entangling pickpockets and politely asking passers-by not to trample the flowers.
Dear Charles,
I write to you this evening, in the hope that, once you regain the use of your faculties, you will be able to verify my account of the dreadful circumstances surrounding the loss of our expeditionary party. As the only other survivor of the voyage, you are in a unique position to confirm the veracity of events that, in any other circumstance, would be considered the work of one of those dreadful pulp authors that are so popular these days.
Kat watched the smoke rise through the hazy air, curling and swirling in on itself to form strange little loops. Gordian knots tied and unraveled themselves within the span of a breath, as ripples of air passed by. She pursed her lips and blew, clearing the canvas that hung in front of her, then waited for Beth to light another cigarette.
“I still can’t believe they made me black…” Sharon said, staring at her arms.
CHARACTERS
ARTHUR: A middle-aged bureaucrat. He wears unstylish glasses and a suit one size too big.
BERTRAND: A talking duck.
SETTING
An unremarkable conference table in an unremarkable conference room in the depths of the FDA. ARTHUR and BERTRAND are sitting on either side of the table, surrounded by piles of paper and groups of assistants.
SCENE
ARTHUR: I have to say, you seem remarkably calm about this agreement.
BERTRAND: Well, we are prey animals as much as predators.
